Directed by Alison Whismore
With Jessica Risco, Christian Haines & Jaime Lee Currier
Dad – Lonely, morose Gina – Happy, perky
Filona- Happy, non-chalant
Takes place in an apartment
Lights up on Dad sitting in front of a laptop with his favorite blanket his wife left him, laughing then crying.)
(Entering) Good morning.
You ok dad?
Dad Yeah I'm ok, just...you know.
Dad Why don’t you come and pull up a chair.
Gina Well if I do that who's going to make breakfast?
Filona Yeah what's wrong with that?
Gina You burnt water the last time you were making...what were you making again?
What was that?
(sarcastic) Y eah.
(Laughs again) Idiots.
Dad What, no not you. This (points at laptop)
Filona What are you watching this time?
Dad Nothing really. You ever notice that some of the best commercials had the worst tv shows attached to them and to balance it out the dumb ones had the best tv shows.
Gina You mean tv shows dad.
Filona Yeah it’s the other way around; commercials are attached to tv shows.
Dad No it’s the commercials that drive everything. The tv shows are just fillers for all the good and goofy stuff we want out of life.
Dad Think about. Think of your life as a tv show. Slow, prodding, about as exciting as watching two Sloths play tennis; or maybe it's super exciting like watching two Sloths play tennis.
Filona Dad come on now.
Dad No no no just hear me out. I truly believe We exist to be the commercials in each others lives...
Gina (unsure what to say) Dad.
Dad ...they guide us to buy and try new things...
Dad ...to believe in, the unbelievable, the unfathomable, to open our hearts, and minds and just listen, to certain absurdities as possibilities.
Dad Don't say that word nor her name; we're going to treat it like this is a dead-ass Harry Potter novel.
Gina Ok. Ok but, you can't sit here everyday feeling sad for yourself because she left.
Dad And No. Life is not like a box of stupid ass chocolates. It’s like that mouse short, fast and dead.
Gina Mouse, what mouse!
Dad Commercials. Girls that’s the key. (calmly points to mouse by Filona) it’s over there.
Filona (jumps away) Eeeeeeh.... I don’t see it!!
Is it dead!?
Filona Who gives a fuck if it's dead or not, it's a fucking mouse.
Dad That’s why I’ve been watching tv shows hour after hour every day. To collect the commercials. Separate the good from the bad. So I can study; So the next one won’t leave me.
Where’s the mouse!!
Dad (To himself) She left me...
Gina & Filona Where’s the fucking mouse!!!!!
(Dad Points anywhere, the girls scramble to find it)
Dad She left me to start a Now dead-ass polka dancing mariachi band, after seeing commercials for a Polish vacation and Taco Bell!!!!
(Girls find the mouse and crushes it)
Filona Shit that was close
Gina I think we need to make a run for mouse traps
Filona I doubt it very seriously you’ll to have worry about anyone leaving you.
Gina Hey maybe you’ll find Beyoncés corpified ass..yeah?!
Dad Yeah. (excited) Let’s go get some bacon!!
(everyone starts grabbing their zombie protective and attack gear)
Gina (throwing mouse in the garbage)
Damn zombies even come in mouse size