Oh! You Pretty Things
Directed by Christian Haines
Featuring Jeff Ennor, William Brown & David O. Stein
Will David Jeff
NOTE: I have left some items open to devised action created at the director/actors discretion or lack of same.
At Rise: WILL, dressed as DAVID BOWIE (Ziggy Stardust) is executing a dance step with his scene partner DAVID who is dressed in drag. JEFF is directing.
You’re not getting the vibe here, guys, come on!
WILL This makeup is way hot. And I can’t do skintight anymore.
holds the dance pose.
(BEAT) Come on, work with me here.
If it doesn’t kill me first!
Oh please, I’m the one holding a pose!
JEFF Sorry, David, relax. (BEAT) Look guys, David Bowie was a major influential figure, not
just in rock and roll but in politics, art, philosophy, religion. This is not just a play, or a musical - it’s an hommage. So, let’s try, not a dance, let’s try a movement collage, a mirroring of our pain and suffering around the death of our hero. Will, as the representation of all that David Bowie stood for, please, show us your artistry, your gifts - show us your essence! Take off your pants.
WILL Oh my God! If this is going to work we need some killer dances, not that crap again/
/What about a torch song?
DAVID Showing our pain, our distress, our seriousness. Like this- “Oh oh oh oh oh oh...”
DAVID begins singing,TVC 15 as a love song.
Wow! I didn’t know you could do that/
/No fucking way! Too girly!
DAVID I’m not a girl, I’m a woman! I mean, a man, dressed as a woman. Isn’t that how Bowie
would have wanted it?
Boys, girls, boys, can we get back on track?.
As long as I get to make the first move.
JEFF I like the first move aspect. How about/
WILL interrupts and spins DAVID in a set of comic yet expert dance moves. MUSIC optional.
JEFF No, no, no that’s like every other... (BEAT) Wait, you might be on to something...of
course, this has to be a MUSICAL tribute to Bowie, a dance musical based on/
/Based on Star Wars!
WILL Oh my fucking god no way! One more Star Wars and I’m gonna gag!
JEFF Wait, no, more like a performance art musical, no dancing, no music, just....listening....to
the music of the universe.
DAVID Maybe...maybe Bowie would have wanted it that way.
DAVID breathes deeply in a meditative pose.
WILL You idiots! We’re broke! We need a HIT or it’s back to working for Uber!
JEFF Will, maybe it’s not exactly right, but think about it. A deeply extended meditation on what
Bowie meant to all of us. Young, old, rich, poor, gay, straight, geek, cool...(BEAT) OK, some people will like it. Maybe not purists. (BEAT) Or Bowie fans.(Beat) Oh hell, back to the drawing board. (BEAT)
JEFF, DAVID and WILL ponder.
WILL I’ve got it! Some like it old school, some like it new/
Let’s give them both!
WILL and DAVID pose as Jack and Rose in the iconic scene from the Titanic.
(sings) I will be king, And you, you will be queen. We can be heroes, just for one day.
Wait, we haven’t paid for that song yet.
It’s fine, it’s just a couple of lines.
I didn’t know you could do that.
Nobody cares, this is SHOTZ.
Wait, I have one - “The first rule of Fight Club, you do not talk about Fight Club.”
DAVID strikes a menacing pose.
WILL Dude, that makes no sense. Let’s face it, we’re fucked.
JEFF No, no we’re not. I have an idea. It’s kinda crazy, but, what if we (BEAT) play it straight?
WILL & DAVID
A little late for that.
I mean let’s just do this. Seriously.
WILL and DAVID execute - a dance move? A set of motions? SOUND of David Bowie’s CHANGES. Or maybe they just come to the edge of the stage and sing.
DAVID, WILL & JEFF Turn and face the strange ch ch ch changes. Don’t want to be a richer man.
As they sing, BOWIE music plays.
END OF PLAY.