Oh! You Pretty Things


Directed by Christian Haines

Featuring Jeff Ennor, William Brown & David O. Stein

CHARACTERS:

Will David Jeff

NOTE: I have left some items open to devised action created at the director/actors discretion or lack of same.

At Rise: WILL, dressed as DAVID BOWIE (Ziggy Stardust) is executing a dance step with his scene partner DAVID who is dressed in drag. JEFF is directing.

JEFF

You’re not getting the vibe here, guys, come on!

WILL This makeup is way hot. And I can’t do skintight anymore.

DAVID

holds the dance pose.

JEFF

(BEAT) Come on, work with me here.

WILL

If it doesn’t kill me first!

DAVID

Oh please, I’m the one holding a pose!

JEFF Sorry, David, relax. (BEAT) Look guys, David Bowie was a major influential figure, not

just in rock and roll but in politics, art, philosophy, religion. This is not just a play, or a musical - it’s an hommage. So, let’s try, not a dance, let’s try a movement collage, a mirroring of our pain and suffering around the death of our hero. Will, as the representation of all that David Bowie stood for, please, show us your artistry, your gifts - show us your essence! Take off your pants.

WILL Oh my God! If this is going to work we need some killer dances, not that crap again/

DAVID

/What about a torch song?

JEFF

A what?

WILL

A what?

DAVID Showing our pain, our distress, our seriousness. Like this- “Oh oh oh oh oh oh...”

DAVID begins singing,TVC 15 as a love song.

JEFF

Wow! I didn’t know you could do that/

WILL

/No fucking way! Too girly!

DAVID I’m not a girl, I’m a woman! I mean, a man, dressed as a woman. Isn’t that how Bowie

would have wanted it?

JEFF

Boys, girls, boys, can we get back on track?.

WILL

As long as I get to make the first move.

JEFF I like the first move aspect. How about/

WILL interrupts and spins DAVID in a set of comic yet expert dance moves. MUSIC optional.

JEFF No, no, no that’s like every other... (BEAT) Wait, you might be on to something...of

course, this has to be a MUSICAL tribute to Bowie, a dance musical based on/

DAVID

/Based on Star Wars!

WILL Oh my fucking god no way! One more Star Wars and I’m gonna gag!

JEFF Wait, no, more like a performance art musical, no dancing, no music, just....listening....to

the music of the universe.

DAVID Maybe...maybe Bowie would have wanted it that way.

DAVID breathes deeply in a meditative pose.

WILL You idiots! We’re broke! We need a HIT or it’s back to working for Uber!

JEFF Will, maybe it’s not exactly right, but think about it. A deeply extended meditation on what

Bowie meant to all of us. Young, old, rich, poor, gay, straight, geek, cool...(BEAT) OK, some people will like it. Maybe not purists. (BEAT) Or Bowie fans.(Beat) Oh hell, back to the drawing board. (BEAT)

JEFF, DAVID and WILL ponder.

WILL I’ve got it! Some like it old school, some like it new/

DAVID

Let’s give them both!

WILL and DAVID pose as Jack and Rose in the iconic scene from the Titanic.

WILL

(sings) I will be king, And you, you will be queen. We can be heroes, just for one day.

JEFF

Wait, we haven’t paid for that song yet.

WILL

It’s fine, it’s just a couple of lines.

DAVID

I didn’t know you could do that.

WILL

Nobody cares, this is SHOTZ.

JEFF

Hey!

DAVID

Wait, I have one - “The first rule of Fight Club, you do not talk about Fight Club.”

DAVID strikes a menacing pose.

WILL Dude, that makes no sense. Let’s face it, we’re fucked.

JEFF No, no we’re not. I have an idea. It’s kinda crazy, but, what if we (BEAT) play it straight?

WILL & DAVID

What?

WILL

A little late for that.

JEFF

I mean let’s just do this. Seriously.

WILL and DAVID execute - a dance move? A set of motions? SOUND of David Bowie’s CHANGES. Or maybe they just come to the edge of the stage and sing.

DAVID, WILL & JEFF Turn and face the strange ch ch ch changes. Don’t want to be a richer man.

As they sing, BOWIE music plays.

BLACKOUT

END OF PLAY.

#RobertaDAlois #ChristianHaines #JeffEnnor #WilliamJBrownIII #DavidOStein #AmiosWest

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