November 28, 2015
by Roberta D’Alois
Directed by Jessica RiscoWith Dorian Lockett, Aeron Macintyre & Carina Lastimosa Salazar
CHARACTERSJAMES - Aeron MacintyrePETER - Dorian LockettLARISSA - Carina Lastimosa Salazar
SETTING: San Francisco
At Rise: LARISSA is sitting on a sidewalk on Market St. near the Twitter building.
JAMES and PETER enter, smartly dressed. They ignore LARISSA.
Come on James, we’re going to be late.
JAMESSo what do you think? I don’t know, I’m still thinking about it. This is a big decision, you
know. (BEAT) I don’t know what to do. I’m stymied, totally stymied.
PETERI thought you were ready? (BEAT) Who are you talking to now?
What, where? I don’t see - not this again/
/Spare change, please, spare change?
JAMESI told you, I’m not going. I haven’t decided and I’m not going till I decide.
We already decided!
JAMESI know, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking to Justin.
PETERYou are not talking to Justin Bieber. We’ve already gone over this.
Anything will help, please, anything/
/We don’t have any change, sorry.
Speak for yourself.
JAMESI am. (To LARISSA) Justin and I don’t have any change to give you.
I do. Here you go dear. I hope this helps.
PETER hands LARISSA a $20 bill. As he does so they exchange a secret hand signal that JAMES does not see.
LARISSA (To PETER) Twenty dollars - yeah, that’ll work,
PETER(To JAMES) You’d think on our wedding day you’d feel a little more generous.
Justin isn’t happy.
PETERAnd Justin is a cheap bastard! (BEAT) First Lady Gaga, now Justin Bieber, Stop with the
JAMES(To PETER) You are a much nicer person than Justin. (BEAT) Yes I do mean it! NO I
WON’T TAKE IT BACK!
PETERJames, you need help. You are not Lady Gaga, or Justin/
LARISSA re-enters as Lady Gaga in some kind of wedding dress.
JAMES and LARISSA embrace.
Girl I love you, you know dat!
JAMES and LARISSA embrace again.
PETERThat’s Lady Gaga? (to JAMES) But you’re Lady Gaga, aren't you?
No, I’m Justin or, wait, am I lady Gaga?
You used to be...
JAMESYou’re freakin’ me out, man don’t that number on my head!
PETERJames, we have been together for 4 years. We are on our way to City Hall. We love each
other, we committed to each other, I agreed to take you better or worse.
Lady, you’re you right? And I’m ...?
You’re James, and you love Peter, and/
Ohhhh, I’m JAMES of course!
JAMES embraces PETER
JAMESI love you honey! (TO Larissa) But , then who are you?
You don’t remember?
LARISSA exits, re enters with lab coat or other doctor outfit.
LARISSAJames, I kept undercover till the time was right. I’m Doctor Larissa. I had to appear as
Lady Gaga to cure you. Once you saw Lady Gaga up close, you knew you couldn’t be Lady Gaga.
(to PETER) You were in on this?
PETERI had to do something to cure you of multiple personality disorder before we got married. I
don’t want to share the bed with Lady Gaga every night.
What about Justin Bieber?
Bieber? Ha! Timberlake, maybe...
Just kidding, honey. Let’s go get married! Thanks Doctor!
LARISSASo Justin Bieber is fair game now? (beat) OK then! Justin here I come!
JAMES and PETER exit (to the strains of the wedding march.)
END OF PLAY
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