The Last Batch
Directed by Jaime Lee Currier
With Brian Quakenbush, William J. Brown III, David O. Stein & Vince Faso
ZEFF
(Evil goof laugh) Extraction time approaches!
NED
sighs audibly
ZEFF
The appointment is at three so we have - 4 minutes. Great! Oooh, this is so much fun!
Looks at dials, knobs, screens throughout
All levels looking good. Exactly like the test runs I did during training. I've got nice numbers here!
Nothing to worry about, sir.
NED
I'm not worried.
ZEFF
I've got the temperature dialed up - it's progressing at a steady rate -- approved parameters. Perfect, actually! We are going to be right on time.
NED
Yes. We are always on time at The Last Batch.
ZEFF
Sorry Ned. I mean, sir. I mean . . .
He is quiet for a two beats
I'm just EXCITED! This is my first time live and with a client. It has to be FLAWLESS! It's risky! This one is such a limited batch.
He is looking at a readout
The last batch of blues, and the tenor vocal chords? I mean, wow.
NED
sighs audibly
Zeff, please try to contain yourself when the client arrives.
ZEFF
Uh oh.
NED
sighs audibly again and walks to look the same thing as Zeff
Oh Zeff, Zeff, Zeff. This is a wash. Its over. We'll need to refreeze.
ZEFF
What? What is it? Why? beeping ends and he yells over it: What did I do?
NED
leans over and presses a button to speak
into an invisible phone of some kind.
Xeno?
garbled reply which is the same short sound cue over and over
Cancel the 3:00 appointment.
garbled
Immediately. ZEFF
What is it? The drains are open! Is it the right pod? It Forty-
garbled five. Male - Oh shit. Oh no. I see it. Geeeez, I can't believe this. What is wrong with me?
Yes, with Gerald.
pushing buttons and knobs
garbled
Oh no. He's heating up fast! He's going to wake up! Help!
Furious. I know.
garbled trying to get NED's attention
He's new.
garbled
I'll look.
garbled
Please Xeno, just ping Gerald and let him know we'll be in touch.
to ZEFF
He's waking up. It happens. Let's prepare.
ZEFF
I can't believe I forgot the sedative! Are you sure we can't administer it now?
NED
You know that it has to be before the re-animator hormones bath. The body will be viable again a month after refreeze. No product lost. Just time.
ZEFF
But what about policy 32? Policy 32 states that if a body wakes up - they have the option to break contract and join society.
NED
-and, just live in the body as is, after we've already harvested back teeth and what else, a finger? Ugh.
ZEFF
The manual says it happened before. You haven't heard of that? Interesting.
NED
Don't quote the manual at me. I wrote the manual.
looooong beat
ZEFF
No you didn't.
NED
Ok, we have the numbers and temperature. Pull him out so that he doesn't injure the body. Let's just keep him calm until we can refreeze him.
ZEFF
Why would he feel any differently than when he chose to be a donor? I mean, he doesn't know that we can cure depression and inevitably he would feel differently if he joined society, but -
NED
Focus. He's already moving! Be on guard and get to your position.
MAN is stirring - twitching gently. NED speaks in a hypnotic and calming voice very different from his usual dry boredom.
Sir, please remain calm. You are here with us at The Last Batch as one of our - uh…
checks transparency
ZEFF
I can do it. Let me do it. I've got the whole thing memorized…
NED
sighs audibly and indicates to go ahead
ZEFF
You are here with us at The Last Batch as one of our honored donors. As you awaken, please try not to move. Please remain calm and still. Relax the-
ZEFF
Oh my goodness. Oh my-
NED
Sir, you will damage the body - please stop!
ZEFF
Lie down! Look out! Don't touch those! Oh my-
MAN
Wha? Whaaa? Ooooooh?
NED
Don't try to speak. You will damage the vocal chords. You donated the- your body - you wanted to die in 2015. You chose to be frozen and donate. You have the only set of vocal chords from a trained singer we have from that era.
ZEFF
Please don't speak! We have a very small batch remaining at all from your area! Please!
MAN
Very garbled and means: What year is it? Why am I missing a finger? My back teeth are gone!
Whaaa yea ees eeet? Whaay I meesing a feeenger? Maaay baack teeeef ar gaahn!
Still slamming around
ZEFF
Its 2412. This body that you donated has been put to use!
NED
Please sit down sir.
The MAN crouches in a corner. We hear a huge release of air and dripping sounds and a cacophony of metal clicks.
ZEFF
Oh shit!
Running to a screen
He hit something. They are all thawing!
NED
You are definitely going to be fired.
Banging noises on metal start from all sides of backstage.. moaning.. a muffled scream… GERALD enters
GERALD
I'm here for my-
NED
We cancelled your appointment! It isn't safe!
GERALD
What is that noise?
ZEFF
Look out Gerald!
Gerald whips back around and is face to face with the MAN, who grabs his shoulders - they are face to face, and the moans are getting louder.
MAN
My finger?
GERALD
These eyes. The eyes I've always wanted. Why is he awake? Ned, these are the eyes that I picked out for today. Are these my eyes?
MAN
My eyes!
Reaches in to choke him as moans and banging get louder… Blackout
THE END