Rock-A-Byte

October 6, 2015

 

Directed by Mario Gonzales

With Jessica Risco, Jennifer Le Blanc & Alison Whismore

 

At Rise: Alison, Jessica and Jenn in a  dystopically futuristic kitchen in San Francisco. 

 

In the future. 

 

JESSICA

Hand me the scissors, will you?

 

ALISON

We don’t got no scissors. Anymore. 

 

JESSICA

Sure we do, In the kibozzolater. 

 

JENN

We don’t have kibozzolater. ANY kibbozolater. They took it. 

 

JESSICA

Who is “they?”

 

ALISON

“They” is the ones that took it. Took all the kibozzolaters. 

 

JENN

They took all those kibozzolaters, and the cremshaws, and the holyhighhats, and now we 

can’t/

 

JESSICA

/They didn’t take them all we still have a bunch of holyhighhats in the drawer, use those. 

 

JENN

But they won't come out looking so nice like they do. 

 

JESSICA

The babies are waiting, we need to get these done. 

 

ALISON

Everyone will laugh, they won’t look nice as the others. 

 

JENN

We could do it the old way, use those needles we used to/

 

ALISON

/No! We come too far . I don’t miss the old ways at all. Especially the sex part to get them 

babies started. 

 

JESSICA

I never heard of using needles, that sounds gross. 

 

ALISON

Sex is gross. Needles are for knitting, not poking. How d’you think we made all them in 

the day? No kibbozolaters or cremshaws when I started/

 

JESSICA

/I never heard of anyone using needles. 

 

JENN

You haven’t heard of that before? Interesting...

 

JESSICA

What? You think I don’t know my way around baby sweaters?

 

JENN

YOU’RE still a baby. If you’ve never used the old way/

 

JESSICA

/ No kibbozolaters, just the holyhighhats, it’ll take us forever to make all these sweaters. 

And I like to throw in the little hats, the babies look so cute. 

 

ALISON

No hats! If we’re going back to knitting ain’t no time. And babies look stupid with them 

hats. 

 

JENN

Jessica’s right, we need the hats. 

 

JESSICA

We owe it to the parents. 

 

ALISON

We’re not getting paid for this, we do it out of/

 

JENN

/love? We are 3 friends trying to do something, something old-fashioned for those old- fashioned souls who still have babies. Because...because...we/

 

JESSICA

We don’t want this new world to pass us by?

 

ENN

Hmpff. 

 

ALISON

I don’t miss babies. 

 

JENN

I miss babies, and kids, and poopy diapers, and birthday parties with too much cake. And  sex. I love that some people still do it and still make their own babies. We should have  more babies.

 

JESSICA

I remember babies. I think I do. They’re those little squishy things, make a lot of noise, right?  

 

ALISON

And they skin their knees and you have to kiss them to make them better. 

 

JESSICA

Ewww.

 

JENN

And they smile, and give you hugs when they get older.

 

ALISON

Jessica, what you missed! Chocolate. Sleeping. Birthday parties. 

 

JESSICA

We still have birthday parties With real food. Food products. Food products with traces of 

food. 

 

JENN

The cakes never come out the same./ And vape candles? The Fire Hazard act went too far 

with that. 

 

ALISON

Lotsa things went too far. I usta think getting rid of sex and all that hoopla, started out like a 

good idea. No muss, no fuss. Grow new humans as we needed ‘em. But now the only 

kind they grow are ...hipsters. 

 

JENN

And tech zombies. 

 

JESSICA

They aren’t really zombies, are they? (BEAT) No, come on, they’re real, just not very nice. 

 

JENN

And they take the place of real people, take everything they can get, insatiable appetites/

 

ALISON

/Calm down there Jenn, ain’t no zombies here. Just us 3 gals, drinking some nice cocoa 

flavored drink product, getting some sweaters made for those few new little ones. Little 

ones. I miss my little one. She? He? Must be all grown now. Farming out there on Mars, 

that’s the last I heard. Married one of them hipsters probaly. Growing them farm-to-
Facebook tomato-type foods. 

 

JESSICA

Yeah, yeah, how do we do this? Needles, really?

 

ALISON

I still have mine.

 

JENN

Me too. 

                                                JENN and ALISON start knitting. 

ALISON

Knit one, purl 2, knit one, purl two. 

 

JESSICA

So how/

 

JENN

/I’ll show you. Knit one, purl two, knit one, purl two...

 

ALISON

It’s like my granma used to say...

 

JENN

What was that?

 

ALISON

Ah hell I don’t remember. By that time it was just a videoscope granma anyway. Never 

mind. 

 

JESSICA

Sounds nice though. Grandma giving advice. 

 

ALISON

I’ll give ya some damn advice. Watch your purl two’s you’re making ‘em purl ones/ 

 

JENN

It’s nice to be knitting again, come on. 

 

ALISON You’re right If we work quick we can make a few of them little hats. Blue for boys, pink for the girls. 

 

JENN and JESSICA stare. 

 

JESSICA

Even I know there aren't such things anymore. Babies decide when they feel like it. 

 

ALISON

You’re right. Going back to the needles, made me forget. Babies decide when they want 

nowadays. (Beat) I’m doing the pink and blue anyways. 

 

JESSICA

Suit yourself. 

 

JENN

I’ll do yellow, can’t go wrong. 

 

JESSICA

Knit one, purl two, knit one, purl two.

 

ALL chime in “Knit one. Purl two” as play ends. 

END OF PLAY.

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