Human Resources
Directed by Jon Wai-keung Lowe
With Jeff Ennor, Jaime Lee Currier & Carina Lastimosa Salazar
Characters
CORINNE – an ambitious young woman
JANE-LYNN – a hopeful young woman
JEDD — a very busy man
Location
The reception area of an office
JANE-LYNN, seated. CORINNE enters acknowledges
JANE, and sits. JEDD enters separately wearing a gigantic
smartwatch.
JEDD
Good morning— oh. Oh. There’s two of you.
JANE-LYNN rises and extends her hand.
CORINNE
Hi! I’m Corinne Cojuangco. I’m your 10:30, actually, but I like to be prompt.
JEDD
Great! So you must be [checks his watch] / Jane. Janel.
JANE-LYNN
Jane-lynn. Thank you for meeting me, Mr—
JEDD
CORINNE JANE-LYNN
Not at all. That’s perfectly understandable.
Oh, Jedd! Just call me Jedd. [To CORINNE:] Hi; Jedd. [Everyone shakes
hands.] Good. Okay, I guess. Sorry! There’s so much to do. I prolly seem a little
scattered.
JEDD
And I’m sorry, but “start-up,” you know. We don’t really have a conference room
set up, so maybe we could go to the cafe downstairs. Or one person could wait
here, while I go with the other one to the—, and then when we’re done, I’ll
come back to get— oh, it’s already [fiddles with watch] / five after…
CORINNE
If it would save time, maybe we could do this together.
JANE-LYNN
I’m not sure that’s the most ethical—
CORINNE
Well, I’ve got nothing to hide, and an interview is just a conversation, right?
JEDD
The intro part isn’t personal, so maybe I can do that with you both together.
CORINNE
Great! [To JANE-LYNN:] Don’t worry; it’s going to be fine. [To JEDD:] Why
don’t you start?
JEDD
Okay. So. Well, as you can imagine, culture is a vital part of any collaboration.
In the past, the establishment has relied on withholding information to keep
power in the hands of what are essentially the middlemen. Where my model
becomes disruptive is that it eliminates the gatekeeping and puts control back
with the stakeholders.
JANE-LYNN nods thoughtfully.
CORINNE
Power to the people!
JEDD
Essentially, yeah! By returning to a more immediate relationship between the
client and the provider, it’s a new way of doing things.
CORINNE
I totally get what you’re saying about the democratic aspect. The economy has
become disproportionally reliant on administrative processes instead of real
goods and services. I can tell already that we’ve got that in common. What do
you think, Jane Ellen?
JANE-LYNN
Sorry, it’s Jane-lynn. I’m surprised that we’re talking about this kind of high-
level stuff / but of course that is what appealed to me about Rainbow—
CORINNE
Oh, maybe we’re going to fast. Sorry!
A stare-down.
JEDD
I think we can all agree, though, that a culture match serves all parties, so this
dialogue should include some getting to know each other.
CORINNE starts to affirm, then looks to JANE-LYNN.
JANE-LYNN
Between the “stakeholders.” Of course.
CORINNE
Totally.
JEDD
So, what do you like to do in your off-time?
JANE-LYNN
Well, it’s been my full-time, but I’m a singer and musician.
CORINNE
I sing, too! but coding is my passion.
JEDD
Cool. Music’s cool. There’s actually a lot of parallels. Would it be awkward to
ask you—?
JANE-LYNN
Um… sure. This is my take on a kind of retro piece—
CORINNE
That’s very on trend.
JANE-LYNN
Anyway,
[Sings:] OVER THE HILLS, FAR AWAY //
DOTH THE CRANE SING HER LAY,
BUT NO SPRING HAS FLOWER’D YET,
AND THE SNOW LIES COLD AND WET;
FAR ACROSS THE DESERT CAN YOU HEAR
THOUSANDS OF VOICES SIGHING CLEAR…
CORINNE
Oh, I love Puccini!
[Sings:] MA L’APRIL NON RI FIORI
MA LA NEVE NON SGELÒ
DAL DESERTO AL MAR NON ODI TU
MILLE VOCE SOSPIRAR!
JANE-LYNN pulls out a ukulele and sings louder.
CORINNE seems to stomp away then turns and cartwheels
back, landing in the splits. JANE-LYNN stops playing
immediately. JEDD applauds, dumbfounded.
JANE-LYNN
Wow. I am really not comfortable with this dynamic. You talk about a new
transparency and some bullshit, but I just see another man pitting women
against each other, competing for his sperm.
CORINNE
WHOA! Sperm?? What kind of job is this?
JANE-LYNN
Stick around. I’m sure that’s what he’ll ask for next. [mimes]
JEDD
Oh, god. Oh, god. I think there’s been / a misunderstanding. [fumbles with his
smartwatch]
JANE-LYNN
Sorry I don’t seem to “culture match” / with a male-dominated paradigm that
pays lips service to progressive values while—
CORINNE
Hey, I didn’t graduate top of my bootcamp as a full-stack developer to become a
fucking secretary in some Mad Men fantasy of—
JEDD
Ladies! People! Please! [To JANE-LYNNE:] I’m gay, okay? [To CORINNE:] We
have a 10:30 appointment about the job as a back-end developer for this start-
up. [To JANE-LYNNE:] We’re supposed to meet at 10am because Rainbow
Conscious Procreatives matched us as a potential donor and mother. I put both
appointments in my calendar app, but this watch doesn’t have room to display
all the details.
CORINNE
So this start-up is legitimately about leveraging local networks to process small
parcels of information as the precursor to aggregation as big data?
JANE-LYNN
And you’re genuinely invested in conscientious contribution to women’s
freedom to bear children?
JEDD
Yes and yes! There’s no competition because you’re here for different things.
This mixup is all because I had a very limited amount of time and tried to do
everything in one locale. Please, let’s sort this out.
JANE-LYNN
[To CORINNE:] My music is my job, and it sounds like the tech stuff could be
real.
CORINNE
[To JANE-LYNN:] I don’t even like kids, but your baby would have really good
hair.
JANE-LYNN
And I kinda want / to see the watch…
CORINNE
To see the watch!
END OF PLAY