Directed by Claire Rice With Eden Neuendorf & Colin Johnson ELISE, a pretty blond recent college grad RON, her boyfriend Elise and Ron met in college in a class on mythology and popular culture. They’ve been dating for 4 years. She won’t sleep with him until he puts a ring on it. They’re both virgins. At the Ice Hotel in Sweden. Elise is wearing a white ski suit and her hair is up in braids. He’s wearing black pants, white shirt, black vest (he’s freezing but committed to
Directed by Mario Gonzales With Nima Slone & Dorian Lockett AMARA, a Jedi, sits crying. E2-8, a droid, approaches. E2-8 You weep, m’lady? AMARA I weep, E2. E2-8 The wound that you sustain’d on Arrin Vel – where by your hand was bloody war dispers’d – it pains you in the swampish mists of this far world, where we, in limping ship now set. Return to shelter, holy knight, and rest. The star is distant. Morning comes too slow. AMARA You think to speak to me of mourning, ‘droid?
Directed by Colin Johnson With Jessica Risco, Celia Maurice & Jeff Ennor Beth and her mother, June are looking through Christmas ornaments together and drinking wine. They’re both a bit tipsy. BETH Where did this one come from? JUNE
This is my absolute favorite...from your father, during out first Christmas. BETH
It’s been around longer than me. I'd never have thought. Guess it’s aged better. JUNE
Beth, you’re stunning. Perhaps if you thought more of yourself, you’d be mar
Directed by Aeron Macintyre With Brett Jones & Haley Lovgren A dimly lit, bare room. JOSIE and BLAKE are having sex offstage. JOSIE: Oh, yeah! give me your hot lightsaber! BLAKE: Oh, you know I’m gonna give you my lightsaber, Padme. Yeah! JOSIE: Let the Force guide you!! BLAKE: Oh, it’s guiding me your Highness! Take me in your pit of Carkoon and let me feed your Sarlaac! JOSIE: Oh, yeah! The Force is strong in this one you sick Sith Bastard!! (simulataneous climax with JOSIE
Directed by Ray Renati With Darek Burkowski and Christian Haines A desk at center stage. Seated at the desk is DUKE FODA, an executive. He is chewing gum. Across from Duke is DAR VALO, a former storm trooper. DUKE
Yeah, when the empire fell after that pussy kid killed the Emperor and Vader, it left a power vacuum in the galaxy. He takes a flask out of his jacket and takes a swig. DUKE
You want some of this Bantha Blood? VALO No, no I'm fine. DUKE
It's not really Bantha Blo
Directed by Alison Whismore With Melissa Ortiz, Aeron Macintyre & Leon Goertzen Cast of Characters Princess Leia: Very Pregnant. If possible in a white robe. Han Solo: Looking just like Han Solo- with a huge baby bag. Obi GYN:An Imperial Obstetrician who follows the rules Scene A Doctor’s Office in a Galaxy far, far away Time Long ago ObiGYN is looking at paperwork. Scream heard offstage. Very pregnant Leia enters. LEIA Carbonite freezing reduces sperm count, he said. Ahhhh!